Eighteen Daughters of the King gathered for the Province 1 DOK Retreat on October 5-6, 2018 at the Genesis Spiritual Life & Conference Center in Westfield, Massachusetts. The theme of the retreat was “Speaking of God: StorySharing and Listening Out Loud.” We practiced some of the StorySharing techniques provided by The Episcopal Church’s Evangelism Intiatives, engaged in fellowship, conducted business, and worshipped together.
As Daughters gathered on Friday afternoon starting at 1pm, they were invited to begin their retreat with a time of individual prayer. On such a beautiful, warm fall day, walking the lovely grounds was a popular activity. In the chapel, Daughters could spend time at various prayer stations such as coloring, journaling, and using rosaries provided as a registration gift. At 5pm we gathered together for prayer, getting to know each other by telling a story about our name, and a short business meeting before enjoying our dinner.
Our first session in StorySharing was based on scripture (Luke 24:1-11). We began by discussing the guidelines for StorySharing as outlined in the Beloved Community StorySharing Guidebook (group norms that were reiterated for each StorySharing session), then the scripture was read aloud. We proceeded around the circle, with each member in turn saying “That reminds me of a story…” and telling a personal anecdote about how this passage relates to us. (Although we used a bible passage as a prompt, the intent of this circle was not to explicate the bible passage.)
Some stories were funny, some were poignant; some were light, and some were deep. A timer was set so each speaker knew when three minutes had passed, so that each member was able to share. As each speaker finished, we took a few moments of silence to absorb the story before continuing with the next speaker. Per the group norms there was no discussion or cross-talk about the stories told. We concluded our first StorySharing circle with Compline, and then some fellowship time and snacks in the Fireside Room.
We reconvened for Morning Prayer and breakfast, after which we began our second session. In this session, we worked on a Spiritual Autobiography timeline. Initially we did a group activity that helped bring to mind some of the significant spiritual events in our lives, such as birth, baptism, marriage (or other significant relationship), and joining DOK. Then we worked individually on a spiritual timeline.
For our second StorySharing session, we worked in pairs rather than in a single group. Using their spiritual timeline as inspiration, one member of the pair shared a story responding to the prompt, “Share a story of a compelling experience of the holy or of God.” The other member listened without interruption or cross-talk. After five minutes, the pairs switched so that the listener became the speaker and speaker became the listener. Then new pairs were formed and the process was repeated, with speakers telling the same story as in the previous session.
The purpose of this exercise was two-fold. First, we were working on listening behaviors, showing with our bodies that we are listening and refraining from interrupting the speaker. After the exercise, some listeners commented that not interjecting was difficult and rewarding, as the speaker followed their own story rather than the one the listener might have prompted.
Second, this exercise was practice in evangelism, “the spiritual practice that allows us to seek, name, and celebrate the loving presence of Jesus in our lives, and to invite the people around us to grow their own relationships with God,” as described in the Beloved Community StorySharing Guidebook. We are learning to share our own stories of encounters with the holy, refining those stories over multiple tellings while keeping them fresh and relevant. We invite people to grow by listening to their stories as well.
For our last StorySharing session, we opted not to attempt the Listening Out Loud exercise, as we did not feel comfortable telling other people’s stories. Instead we formed another circle, in which we again told a store of an experience with the holy or with God. These could be the story the speaker had shared in pairs, or a new story. The growing trust within the group and the previous storytelling experience led to deeper stories than the first circle the evening before. Even though we needed to break for lunch, we were able to return and complete the circle with the same sense of respect of the storysharing as before.
The Rev. Michael Devine and the Rev. Julie Butcher conducted Holy Eucharist, with a homily that tied in with the story telling theme. We also installed the new provincial officers who were present: Monica Burden as President and Carol Bushman as Secretary; Nora Brown as Treasurer was traveling and not able to attend. The retreat adjourned at 2:30pm.